Friday, June 21, 2019

Bloody Vacation at Beautiful Lake.

Before you weirdly ask“is this a slasher?”, yes this this is a slasher movie. “How sharp is the weapon? What kind of weapon is it?”, the weapon is a hatchet and it is sharp enough to chop up innocent 80’s Mexican youngsters. Now shut up and read my review below so you can have the rest of your questions answered. Also please no "sube la pelicula completa porfavor" comments before the killer comes after you under my order. Thank you.

Vacaciones Sangrientas plays out very simply like any other slasher movie from the 80’s. A group of young adults head out to the woods for a nice little vacation at “Beautiful Lake” where they’ll drink booze, dance to some corny music, drink Diet Coca-Cola and make out and all while a psychopathic old dude called by the media “El Hombre Del Hacha” (The Hatchet Man) watches them from a distance waiting for the chance to kill them all with his precious hatchet!

Vacaciones Sangrientas has been on my radar for quite a while and have longed to watch it and even to know something about the movie since there’s not any info on the movie anywhere other than an IMDb page! At last though, I finally acquired a copy from Mexico and now I can say that I've seen the movie, share my thoughts & finally shed some light to this movie that has been hiding in the dark for too damn long! Let it be known now finally.

The movie feels very amateurish at times as if it were someone’s first movie made. It’s also low-budget of course and shot on tape. Vacaciones was directed by the famous Aldo Monti. While he’s mostly known as an actor, he did however direct a few cool movies before & after this one. I’m convinced he only co-directed and producer Jorge A. Cano handled the other half of the movie since this is his first credited feature. Mr. Cano definitely had to have had more Input than just a producer. He went on to become a director after this movie as well, so Vacaciones was definitely his first try at directing a movie and not just handling the production. It’s as if Aldo Monti was teaching Jorge Cano how to make a movie basically.

When I say Vacaciones feels amateurish, it’s because the movie plays out so simple & short and was also shot on video, meaning there was not a lot of money put into the movie. We meet all the characters right away (whom don’t stand out much), we get a little familiar with the setting entitled “Beautiful Lake” (according to actor Francisco Lopez, he told me it was filmed in San Isidro & Chula Vista) and we really aren’t introduced to the killer at all, his motives for killing are not known. He’s just fucking crazy I guess. That’s it. He does however smoke a lot of cigarettes & laughs very quietly. The second half the movie, the part that Aldo Monti must of had Input of; has some pretty interesting shots of the killer staring at his victims from a distance. One shot that stood out for me was when the killer is staring away at a male victim from the side-view mirror of a van. It was shot nicely and definitely built up well. There’s also a shot of the killer staring at a girl drinking a Diet Coca-Cola from outside the kitchen window and his eyes are zoomed in closely to really get the feeling that this guy is definitely fucking crazy. It kind of reminded of the crazy scenes of Lina Santos in Seduccion Sangrienta (another Aldo Monti movie, ahem).

With a title like Vacaciones Sangrientas and a really awesome tagline saying “Careful! The killer is on the loose & could catch you at any moment” you’ll assume the movie will feature lots of brutal killing & buckets of fake blood splattering all over, but with like most SOV slashers (even the ones everyone get a huge hard-on over), that’s hardly the case with Vacaciones. The fantastic cover art butters you up to expect that kind of stuff for sure, but the movie is pretty tame on all those aspects. Still, I can’t knock the movie down completely because it is still pretty fun and the killer—as vague as he is—still delivers some crazy little fun moments & at least there’s one hatchet to the head moment.

It took a long while to finally watch Vacaciones Sangrientas and was it worth the wait & patience & hopefulness? I suppose so. I did enjoy the movie for what it was and I liked the simplicity of it & dark wooded setting it has. While none of the characters did nothing for me to care for them, I did however like the killer. Not very much is known about him, but I liked that. He’s just this mysterious psychopath on the loose wanting to kill people with his hatchet. A hatchet that he cleans up after murdering.

The movie won’t wow you like the fantastic cover art does, but still, Vacaciones Sangrientas is a movie that should definitely be sought out by SOV horror/slasher enthusiasts. It is part of this genre and why it’s so damn obscure is beyond me. It belongs in the books, the lists and the collections. It is also part of Mexican horror cinema after all, despite its obscureness.

Monday, June 10, 2019

Luis Miguel In Acapulco.

As soon as you begin to watch Fiebre De Amor (aka "Fever of Love"), you realize this movie is just gonna be all about 80’s Mexican pop sensation/El Sol De Mexico: Luis Miguel. While Lucerito (another 80’s pop sensation) is the leading girl of the movie & love interest of Luis Miguel, it’s still however a movie just about Luis Miguel. All the songs in the movie? All by Luis Miguel. Maybe some with Lucerito, but mainly Luis Miguel because this is all about Luis Miguel after all. Luis Miguel in Acapulco to be exact.

In the opening credits we see a group of cheerleaders spell out with their shirts “Televicine SA”, then they spell out Luis Miguel’s name and the title of the movie. They also scream & shout at the arrival of Luis Miguel in Acapulco (wearing a red hoodie & very white pants) as he sings the theme song of the movie “Fiebre De Amor”. Once Luis Miguel has settled in Acapulco for the big concert he's performing—it is surely a big deal for these teeny boppers attending the concert because they would probably die for Luis Miguel because he is Luis Miguel after all. Lucerito plays a fan girl of Luis Miguel’s and longs to be with him. She imagines scenarios where she meets him, gets into quirky mischief with him and even getting married to him! Lucerito is excited for the concert in Acapulco and as she watches him perform live, she imagines herself with him. Luis Miguel is her destiny. Her reason of existence. Maybe.

After various scenes of Acapulco scenery with lots of (Luis Miguel) music playing and more scenes of Lucerito longing for Luis Miguel, the movie suddenly takes a “serious” turn when she witnesses a murder & robbery at the hands of some jewel thieves. By chance, Lucerito runs into Luis Miguel while taking a bath and asks for his help, they then run a lot together, Luis Miguel drives a car, the car then explodes which leads us to believe Luis Miguel has passed on, but of course he doesn’t die because Luis Miguel can never actually die. Does he end up saving the day? Well maybe so, because after all, Luis Miguel is the sun that shines so bright & so perfect.

Long ago, I found a VHS copy of Fiebre De Amor (also known as “La Primera Vez”) at a weird thrift store that sold bullfrogs, fish and all kinds of goodies that freaks like me would show any interest of. I had gotten some pretty good movies from that place one summer day and even a free cold can of Pepsi from the shop owner because it was very hot inside. There was also a nice couple at the thrift store with several strange movies in the boyfriend’s hands. I liked this couple. I hope they got married & have 7 children by now and still buy crappy movies at thrift stores.

So anyway, it took me a long while to finally watch Fiebre De Amor and I only remembered having the movie because I had gotten an interest in watching the Netflix series “Luis Miguel”, the most self-absorbed, dramatic show ever. In episode 9 of the show, they are filming Fiebre De Amor and Luis Miguel struggles to lip-sync his singing scenes. Finally after watching the actual movie itself, I can pretty much say Fiebre De Amor is the most pointless movie ever made. It’s so dull since a lot of the scenes drag on for too long and half the time watching it, you’re not even sure what the hell is even going on other than Luis Miguel singing around Acapulco and Lucerito longing for him. The movie does get kind of interesting once Lucerito runs away to safety with Luis Miguel, but even then it just dragged & dragged and Luis Miguel’s overall presence In the movie is kind of irritating because even in a fictional movie about him, he’s still so self-absorbed & does very little in the movie other than sing and smile a lot. It was all a “me me me” kind of thing while Lucerito is seen as a typical fangirl who gets her dream come true due to fucked up circumstances. God..

The music in the movie isn’t bad, but very corny of course. This is definitely music for 80’s Mexican adolescents. The opening song which is also the title of the movie “Fiebre De Amor” is not a bad song at all. It’s pretty chill and makes me feel like I’m at a shopping mall in Mexico circa 1985. The other song “Acapulco Amor” is very cheesy and could probably be featured in an 80’s narco movie set in an Acapulco nightclub (maybe at Baby O?). “Todo El Amor Del Mundo” has a catchy beat and it’s the popular song of the soundtrack featuring Lucerito. It’s catchy sure, but still corny as hell just like the rest of the soundtrack.

Fiebre De Amor is the 2nd movie Luis Miguel shot with Rene Cardona Jr and it was pretty successful especially with Lucerito starring in it. I have yet to see the first movie Siempre En Domingo, but it’s only a minor role where Luis Miguel just sings in the show that the movie is based on. Now Luis Miguel’s first movie is Ya Nunca Mas (directed by Abel Salazar!) and it is supposed to be a decent drama I hear & I hope to see it one day. Luis Miguel hated acting, so he never made an appearance on the big screen ever again after Fiebre De Amor despite his ultra-crazy father/manager wanting him to star in another movie. Fiebre De Amor really took a lot out of Luis Miguel playing Luis Miguel because It’s hard being Luis Miguel after all.

I can’t really say I hated Fiebre De Amor, but I wasn’t very into it or excited about it either. As I said before, it’s just pointless, dull and Luis Miguel is very self-centered in this darn of a movie. Might as well just called the movie “Luis Miguel goes to Acapulco” because that’s really what the movie is about. Lucerito getting with Luis Miguel? That’s hardly ever the main focus of the movie, yet it’s supposed to be a cute little first romance type of movie (haha).

If you ever come across Fiebre De Amor airing on TV or being sold at a weird thrift store and if you’re very curious about it, then go right ahead and watch it. You don’t have to though that’s for sure. It is a movie you can live without watching or even watching it ever again. You can also live a happy & full life of not ever being another crazy fan of El Sol De Mexico: Luis Miguel.


I do recommend watching his Netflix show “Luis Miguel La Serie” because it’s definitely cringy, hilarious, exaggerated, dramatic and interesting. It is also an authorized portrayal of Luis Miguel and further proves how truly ego this man is. He has a show all about himself! Wow!

Sunday, June 2, 2019

Don Chido, Chido, Chido.

In 1972, Francis Ford Coppola brought Mario Puzo's best-selling novel "The Godfather" to the big screen. The Godfather is the most iconic mobster movie ever made. Many have imitated it, but none could ever reach that level of epicness & beauty that Coppola's movie has. In 1992, a low-budget Mexican filmmaker named Roberto Castillo put together a mobster movie and this would be much different than any other mobster movie out there because it was going to have the iconic Mexican comedic character Juan Camaney (Luis De Alba) who dances tango, chews gum, sticks like glue & gets all the chicks he wants, “tururu”. Tururu indeed. What does that even mean though? I have no idea.

After helping an aging mob boss from an assault, Juan Camaney becomes a mobster and later becomes the new Don of the crime syndicate. With the help of his consigliere Angel, Juan Camaney goes head on with his enemies that want him gone and take over the organization themselves. Juan Camaney of course gives no shit about that and just messes with all his enemies by doing some immature shit towards them such as squirting a water pistol at their faces & making fun of them when he sees them at the local nightclub. Juan Camaney being a pervert and a slob—prepares himself a hot dog all while a woman awaits for him in bed. She gets ketchup smeared on her face, she says she feels like a hamburger and this is when Juan Camaney gets horny & is all over the woman.

This is the new Don of the mafia, ladies & gentlemen. Don Corleone is dead. Don Chido lives.

In 2013 at the tender age of 22 going on 23, I called Juan Camaney De La Mafia a plain awful movie & a waste of $9. Today being 2019 and almost 30, I still think the movie is plain awful but not so much of a waste of $9 since I actually care enough to still own it after all this time. While the movie is mildly entertaining at times, it does rather get boring for the most part and clearly the plot is so incoherent & weird. I like weird don’t get me wrong, but this is just weird in the bad kind of way. The mobster characters in the movie are fucking dumb & never funny, the women in the movie are dull & never get naked and while Juan Camaney is funny sometimes (for ex. he hides an AK-47 under the sheets that looks like a giant boner), he’s just so damn ridiculous you can’t help but feel somewhat second-hand embarrassed towards him. It’s like watching a drunken uncle fall in the middle of your little cousin’s 6th birthday party while everyone watches in shock & awkwardness. There’s also a guy in the movie called “Pepperoni” and yes, it’s an Italian food joke. A bad joke. My favorite scene of the movie is when Juan Camaney & crew walk into a nightclub that’s playing “On Your Feet” by Shok Paris and it is so fucking random but hilarious. Am I to believe Mexican nightclub goers in the 90's were really dancing to low-rate heavy metal music?

Juan Camaney De La Mafia Can either be a waste of time for you or it can be like your favorite movie ever like other crap I get asked for to hand out for free (y’all seriously want “El Dia De Las Locas” that bad?), whatever the case, this movie for me is bad but I don’t dislike it as much as I did before. Do I love it now? God no. Not even the slightest bit. I only find it intriguing now because it’s utter crap, but this kind of crap is definitely obscure and should be watched by fans of Juan Camaney/Luis De Alba. Maybe it’ll be your Godfather movie that will make you cry & awe. For me though, The Godfather part II will make me cry & awe and Juan Camaney De La Mafia will make me cry in agony & feel embarrassed for watching it again.