Friday, March 23, 2012

With Fear In The Veins!

So the other night, I watched a video called Con El Miedo En Las Venas (aka "With Fear In The Veins"). This particular video contains 4 short SOV flicks involving nuclear shit, obsession, Wild West fascination, and a woman killing a little girl because she broke some precious vases. These 4 short flicks are interesting in a weird & cheap sort of way. Well, one of them isn't interesting actually. Anyway, let me tell you all about the 4 short stories.

In ISP 44, a disfigured man named Fausto lives in the sewers. He was disfigured at work. He worked for some big corporation handling nuclear shit. Fausto, angry & lonely, decides to get revenge on the corporation that fucked him up! How will he get revenge? Simple! He will use ISP 44! What the fuck is ISP 44? I don't know! It's just some glowing stuff in a case. Weird, huh?

First story is okay. It's kinda like Darkman mixed with Pulp Fiction (the glowing stuff in the case). I do wish it was more longer though since I wanted to see more of Fausto in the sewer and perhaps even a flashback scene of Fausto's accident.

ISP 44 is swell. Definitely worth a look!

Meet Manolo (played by Carlos Espejel). He's that really weird guy you knew back in high school. Oh you know, wears all black and always has a crazy look on his face. Manolo lives with an older cousin. The older cousin is a ladies man. I don't know why and how, but he is. When Manolo and cousin go on a vacation at a beach filled with bikinis and speedos, Manolo falls in love with a singer. Her name is Nuria. She's kinda cute, she wears glow sticks on her neck, and she finds Manolo interesting! Not as interesting as the cousin though! Apparently, the cousin fucked her. Hearing about that causes Manolo to go crazy!

Galatrejos En El Mar is the best story. It's got quirky/likable characters and the story is surprisingly good. I also dig the way Manolo dresses. He's at a beach, yet he wears a long black trench coat, a black hat, and thick dark glasses. He also wears Halloween masks. He's obviously different. Too different. Awesome!

 A nerdy guy loves western movies. He longs to be an outlaw. Fortunately for him, the opportunity comes when he finds out he looks like Billy The Kid and he finds a revolver inside his little tv! With his new alter ego, the nerdy guy robs a bank but then the money he grabbed is taken away by a gang of punks. The nerdy guy goes after the punks... Western styled! (sepia filtered, gun shooting, old cowboy movie clips shown, etc.)

Even though it doesn't make any sense, El Revolver is entertaining in a dumb sort of way. Worth a look, don't skip it!

From what I've put together, this one is about a psychic and his wife helping an old woman. The old woman wants to know who killed her precious granddaughter. The psychic's wife seems to be getting visions of the young girl's death. When they go to the old woman's house, the psychic's wife sees the ghost of the little girl. Finally, we find out who the killer is. Then again, we already know who the killer is since it is sooo damn obvious from the beginning! What was the motive for the killing? The little girl broke a vase and this really pissed off the killer. Seriously. No Joke! That's why the girl was killed!

Last story is the worst story. Terror En Tiempos De Crisis appears to be a full length feature trimmed down to fit this compilation of Televisa produced horror/fantasy shorts. Trimming down a full movie is a bad thing because it's not gonna make any sense and that is exactly what happens with Terror En Tiempos De Crisis. It starts out okay but then it rushes to one scene to another. It ends quickly too. Awful!!!!

You definitely need to skip this one. So when El Revolver is over, turn off the video so you won't have to watch Terror En Tiempos De Crisis. You want to watch it? Haha, okay then. Do it. Be dumb!

Con El Miedo En Las Venas is a weird ass horror anthology. The VHS cover makes it out to be something brutal and full of action, but really, there's little action and it is definitely not brutal. What makes this horror anthology even weirder is the fact that it has a 'ghoulish' bald headed host (Sergio Bustamante) that only appears in the opening. He mumbles about death and these stories, then out of nowhere he points a gun to his head and shoots himself. How pointless!

To make it even more weirder than it already is, a woman in all black (someone you would see at a funeral) appears in the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th story. I'm not sure what she's supposed to be doing but I sure would like to know! Someone tell me who she is and what she could be doing, please!

If you ever find a copy of Con El Miedo En Las Venas, will you like it? Perhaps. Like seeing weird dudes fall in love with a girl and then killing them because she slept with your speedo wearing cousin? Then yes, you will like it. Like seeing guys turn into Billy The Kid? Then yes, you will like it. Do you just plain like ridiculous horror/fantasy stories? Then yes, you will like it. 5/10.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Stop Sucking Corporate Cock.

You know what's funny? A hat that says "Stop Sucking Corporate Cock". Jorge Luke wears this particular hat in Maxima Violencia. You know what's not funny? Jorge Luke invading your home, yelling & crying at you for no apparent reason, telling you to marry an elephant and forcing you to cook meat & soup. He wears that hat and does all that crazy shit in Maxima Violencia.

In Maxima Violencia (aka "Maximum Violence"), a woman (Maritza Olivares) is assaulted in her own car by a psychopath (Jorge Luke). After getting away from the psycho—the woman doesn't call the police because she feels there is no proof of the assault and she feels very ashamed about it. Not telling anyone about the assault was a huge mistake because this psychopath got a hold of the woman's wallet which of course contains her driver's license (uh-oh!). A day after the assault—the psychopath forces himself into the woman's home and acts crazy as fuck with her! The psycho by the way refers to himself as "papi". The woman somehow scared papi to death. That's not good at all! Papi then acts perverted with the poor woman and tells her the stupidest things anyone could ever say! He tells her: "I love little bears so much!", "Wouldn't you like to marry an elephant?". After telling her more stupid shit involving animals—he goes on about how much he loves meat & soup and he also goes on about how much he hates cheese (seriously). From then on the movie just gets weirder, funnier & extremely uncomfortable.

Maxima Violencia is a wild ride. It starts off crazy, gets crazier, gets a little more crazier, then it ends all fucked up. The ending is a real bummer. I'm not gonna spoil it much, but let's just say we find out why this man is crazy as fuck and it’s because his childhood wasn't exactly great because of his abusive/alcoholic stepmother. The song that plays in the end is also very depressing since it's all sad sounding & shit. Speaking of music—the stock music that plays throughout the movie is cheap & crazy sounding and it all blends in very well with the movie. The music consists of weird synthesizers & much familiar stock music that has played in many videohomes in the 1990’s.  

Maxima Violencia is flat out crazy. Funny sometimes, too. Depressing as fuck as well. Maxima Violencia is definitely worth a look, but unfortunately the movie is not exactly easy to acquire. So look very high & low for it!


Stop Sucking Corporate Cock. PLEASE!