Monday, July 9, 2012

Hitler's Clone was born in Mexico.

This past week, Mexico had its Presidential election. A man named Enrique Peña Nieto won the presidential title. Apparently, this man is going to ruin Mexico, I doubt that he will though because El Clon De Hitler (Hitler's Clone) is in Mexico and he is going to fuck shit up! Enrique better do something about him before its too late! SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!! (sarcasm)

In the beginning of El Clon De Hitler, Hitler's Clone marches the scummy streets of Mexico. He marches while old nazi footage is seen & heard. Hitler's obese follower Tomcat joins him in the 'march' and then raids a taco stand. Hitler's Clone hates it when Tomcat eats tacos! He hates it so much, that he pinches his nipples for eating so many damn tacos. Poor, poor Tomcat! After nipple pinching Tomcat, we meet Hitler's 2 daughters. One daughter looks like a Cradle of Filth groupie, the other daughter looks normal and pretty. Both girls may be different, but they both equally love & respect their 'powerful' father (awww..). Next up, we meet 2 people that are always at the market that Hitler controls! Iron is a nasty looking vagrant that loves Hitler to death and he keeps an eye out for whatever is going down in the streets. Then there is Russia, she is the godmother of Hitler's goth daughter. She too loves Hitler to death. Her job is to control part of the dirty market and she also sells chickens......... In one scene of the movie, we see her cutting up chicken feet with large scissors. That scene is the most disgusting part of the movie. Just thinking about it makes me sick.. Then again, that whole scene inside that market makes me sick... Very sick....

After meeting Hitler's crew, we are introduced to his enemies! The 1st and most obvious one is his 'wife'. Hitler's wife hates his guts. I would explain why, but I'd rather not since I feel it's pointless to do so (seriously). Since she hates Hitler and all, she begins to date a corrupt cop who is plotting to kill Hitler and his crew. Will the cop succeed in killing Hitler & crew? Will Hitler not be killed and take over Mexico? Will Tomcat eat more tacos? 

The answer to those questions are right here!

1. The cop kills Hitler. The death of Hitler is so emotional (pathetic actually).. We see his bloody body hanging while we see 'sad' nazi footage playing right in front of him. 

2.  Well, he obviously dies but his death is avenged in a sequel movie called Darketos. Do I plan on watching Darketos anytime soon? If I find a copy for a cheap price, then yes. Will I review it? ....... No.

3. Tomcat unfortunately doesn't get to eat anymore tacos. He gets shot down by the cop. It's sad.. Very sad. I liked Tomcat. Tomcat may have been a fat buffoon, but he was very likable & very kind. The next time I go to a taco stand, I will think about Tomcat. the first bite of the taco will be for him. The second bite will be for Carmen from La Cumbia Asesina (R.I.P. La Reina!).

El Clon De Hitler is an epic failure in low budget Mexican filmmaking. The acting is awful, the setting is ugly as sin, and the story doesn't make any damn sense! Even director Christian Gonzalez admits that this movie is an epic failure and he continues to do so whenever its brought up somewhere. Why he directed it in the first place is a mystery to me.... For money perhaps? Good money hopefully.

Surprisingly, El Clon De Hitler got a very decent DVD release here in the USA. The DVD has English subtitles! Good subtitles, too! If you're very curious to see this Mexican Hitler clone shitfest, buy the DVD then. Try buying it for a dollar or less. 1/10.