Saturday, October 12, 2019

Alan Ciangherotti fucks around with Brujeria.

A young thug called El Maya (Alan Ciangherotti) and his group of goons kidnap women around town for money, but as of lately El Maya has gone super weird since he’s gotten involved in brujería and has been killing the kidnapped women for sacrifices to “El Maestro” (the devil I guess). The body count rises up very high and it’s up to a cop named Rodrigo (Jorge Aldama) along with his partner that he’s totally banging to find the killer before more innocent women are killed!

 Around the early 2000’s, some of these Mexican videohome producers invested time & money into making movies about the Juarez female homicides that had gained notoriety around the country and even the world, particularly in Hollywood since they see Ciudad Juárez as the only place in Mexico that ever has brutal crime going on (how narrow-minded, right?). So anyway, there’s quite a few movies about the Juarez female homicides and they all involve either a criminal group kidnapping women or a psychopath on the loose. In Secta Maldita (aka "The Evil Sect"), they intertwine crime with a psychopath leader who’s involved in brujería. Now you’re probably thinking “wow that’s so cool!”, but to be quite frank it’s not as good as it sounds. Secta Maldita isn’t a complete failure, but it’s definitely not so great either. The movie is kind of dull and features off-screen & non-bloody kills even though it seems we’re about to see some brutal ritualistic killings that would satisfy some long-haired heavy metalhead. The only bloody kill we ever see in the movie is just with a dog getting shot by El Maya, but it’s not even bad as it sounds since the dog only has a small drip of stage blood on his side while he smiles in joy. The doggy clearly loved the screen time he got. He must of had dreams of going to Hollywood or Mexico City..

 Now I can’t fully complain about Secta Maldita since I did enjoy some little parts of the movie and its mostly the scenes with Alan Ciangherotti acting like a weirdo wearing his black coat & hood during his ritualistic sacrifices. There’s also a table dance scene where the girl is dancing to the most horrid song ever, then later on a rival of El Maya (who's played by Eleazar Garcia Jr) is about to bang this dancer, then when the mask is taken off by El Maya’s goon, it turns out to be his own daughter! El Maya doesn’t kill his enemy right away because he wants him to suffer knowing he was having a sexual moment with his own daughter. Talk about a mind-fuck, right? Then near the beginning of the movie, one of El Maya’s goons puts a human heart in a blender and it looked quite appetizing honestly. An ice old heart smoothie sounds good right now. El Maya drinks the blood and blabbers about evil. Fun, huh? Sorta.

 It seems Secta Maldita is hard to come by on DVD and I was quite surprised to even find a copy, but then again I didn’t know anything about this movie prior to getting it. Is it worth knowing its existence? Worth seeking out? Worth watching Alan Ciangherotti acting the fool with brujería? I mean if you’re that bored then sure. Otherwise just watch something else instead. I watched it once last year and didn't get into it at all. My 2nd time watching it this time around and I enjoyed it somewhat, but overall I didn't care much for it still. If anything, I just thought of the day I bought this movie. It was a hot summer day in Georgia buying Mexican DVD's with a friend and then the evening came and I was in the arms of a beautiful girl & making out with her while watching one of my favorite bands play. Now that was far more memorable than this fucking movie. Definitely. Just saying.

Roberto Ballesteros gets top billing in the movie, but he's pretty damn irrelevant in the movie. At least he made the front cover in the most deceiving way.

Tuesday, October 1, 2019

Lo Saben, Lo Saben.

It’s 1982 and you’re all dressed up looking like a mannequin & ready to go to the El King Kong cabaret down in Mexico. You’re gonna have some drinks, catch up with friends, joke around and watch the most amazing showgirls perform on stage. Afterwards, you’re gonna pick yourself one of these amazing showgirls in the cabaret and dance the night away to catchy music performed by La Sonora Santanera. Some crazy & sexy mischief will go along as the night goes on, maybe even the local mafia will get involved in all this, but it will be so worth it at the end of the night because this is your night. This is the night and the place where anything goes for you. You’re gonna get drunk, you’re gonna laugh hard and even fuck the showgirl at the end. You’re who they call "Panchito" because you dance the cha-cha-cha so well. This time however, you're gonna dance "La Boa". La Boa is a dance that's amazing and it is gonna blow everyone away. Everyone!

 Señoritas y Caballeros: welcome to Las Fabulosas Del Reventon (aka "The Wonderful Party Girls").

 Our main man of the movie is Rene (Jaime Moreno) and he runs El King Kong cabaret along with a gorgeous blonde named Marlene (La Princesa Lea). El King Kong is the place to be it seems since all kinds of people go there every night to have some drinks, dance, tell dirty jokes, and for the men to pick up some of the finest showgirls/hookers in town provided by a pimp named Lalo (Alberto Rojas "El Caballo"). As all this adult activity happens, La Sonora Santanera provides the music of El King Kong and the showgirls come up to the stage for a memorable performance. Sounds like a great place, right? A very great place indeed. It’s such a great place that a local mob boss who likes to call himself “El Padrino” (The Godfather) wants to buy it, but Rene doesn’t want sell his part of the cabaret. Marlene hesitates selling her share—but the mob boss & his goons try to convince her and even threaten Lalo the pimp to stop having his hookers work at El King Kong. The “drama” doesn’t stop there when Rene falls in love with a beautiful chick who comes to El King Kong with her friends, but she’s no ordinary girl however—she’s actually El Padrino’s daughter! 

 I like to call Las Fabulosas Del Reventon one of the greatest forgotten Mexican sex comedies because it’s definitely great and definitely forgotten after all these years. What makes Fabulosas great is just how fun it is and never taking itself serious. It is a movie meant to be off-colored & crazy and a good time all around. This is a movie where crazy sexual offensive jokes are okay to tell and seeing a woman naked all around is fucking great. Is this movie a romance? Sure it is, but it is a very lustful romance—not some lovey dovey bullshit to make you feel like a sap. 

My favorite part of the movie is when Alberto Rojas’ character is sodomized by some mobsters and ends up enjoying it so much, he becomes gay & dresses like a woman at the end of the movie. Supposedly to get revenge on El Padrino, but he's waaayyy too into his female disguise. Clearly there’s some political incorrectness/homophobia going on here, but we have to remember this was in a time & place where people thought this was hilarious and not so damn taboo. I personally thought it was funny because Alberto Rojas is always hilarious no matter what the hell he’s doing. He’ll make you laugh for any reason for sure and he does it so right in this movie. 

There’s also a bunch of off-colored sex jokes told throughout the movie and some of these jokes are told in story form—one being told by a member of La Sonora Santanera. The story involves an obese man & a friend of his wife getting “revenge” on their cheating spouses by having sex with each other. Ironic isn’t it? Then there’s a memorable scene where Oscar Fentanes (pre-Garfield plush) is hanging out with some friends & tells a joke about how women with black-colored eyes are cheaters. One of his friends then leaves back home to see that his wife has black-colored eyes and says "Maldicion! Negro!" (Damn! Black!"), then a naked black man appears under the bed and says "how did you know?". An obvious offensive as hell joke, but the way everything just happens is just so hilarious. It's these stupid little jokes that crack me up so big. They're bad, offensive, weird & stupid, but nonetheless still very funny. These are the jokes your fathers & grandfathers tell each other all the time during their drinking binges. Truly.

The setting of the movie: “El King Kong”, the notorious jungle/King Kong themed cabaret is the coolest place ever. There’s a giant King Kong statue in the back of the stage and all around the cabaret there’s portraits of the King Kong ‘76 poster art. You have to admire that for sure! If you don’t, then you’re a fucking square. The music group La Sonora Santanera perform all their hit songs in the movie and they perform their most famous song “La Boa” in the beginning of the movie and in the end. That song is ridiculously catchy & so damn good. The lyrics are so quirky & the song really sets the mood of the movie. It’s 100% perfect. After you listen to that song, you won't stop listening to it and will make you get in the mood to dance. Lo Saben, Lo Saben..

I cannot forget to mention the beautiful showgirls of the movie. Plenty of tits & ass and even some bush is fully seen and all provided by these wonderful girls. In the beginning of the movie, not even 5 minutes in—we see a fully nude La Princesa Lea & of course looking so damn good. I can go on & on about all the dancing in the movie, but one I will for sure mention involves a man stripping off a woman’s costume in a very artistic & erotic way. Tongele makes an appearance in the movie and it is definitely not forgettable. She’s a wonderful dancer and when she’s on screen, my eyes are glued all the way in. She's hypnotic. Literally.

 Las Fabulosas Del Reventón is for sure one of the greatest forgotten Mexican sex comedies. It’s wild, vulgar, sleazy, sexy, & tons of fun from beginning to end. This movie will literally transport you to a time & place where anything went on & it’s gonna be an all-around a good time. Fabulosas is not to be missed. It’s a must watch if you’re going to be getting into Mexican sex comedies. This is one of the main titles to see. Don't skip it or you'll regret it.