Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Los Caminantes Vs. The Mafia!

In Caminantes Si Hay Caminos, popular Mexican group Los Caminantes are asked to play a private show at their old hometown of San Francisco Del Rincon, Guanajuato Mexico. They agree to and off they go to play the luxurious private show at their ol' hometown. When they arrive, it all seems well at first but then it turns out the private show is just a setup to get Los Caminantes to mule cocaine for a mobster. The mobster plans on putting the drugs in the music equipment of Los Caminantes! Terrible, isn't it?! If that isn't worse enough, it also turns out the town has been going through rough times since the mobster has taken over the town and fucked shit up. A town drunk tells of the town's troubles to the manager of Los Caminantes. When the manager's girlfriend gets kidnapped by the mobster's son, the manager and the police search for her, get in gun battles with mobster guards, and Los Caminantes also join in on the gun battles (AHHH!).

Oh my, this movie is just awesome. Too awesome actually. We got Los Caminantes playing some of their kick ass songs and there's awesome over the top action at the same time? Really? Really?!?!!?!

I honestly never imagined I would ever see a Mexican action flick starring Los Caminantes. I mean seriously, this is just unbelievable! I actually got to see Caminantes lead singer Agustin Ramirez firing a gun and then singing in a packed concert! GOOD LORD, HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!?!?!! AHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, that's really all I got to say about Caminantes Si Hay Caminos. The movie is just plain awesome and perfect. If you're a fan of Los Caminantes and have not seen this movie, then I highly recommend you do it soon because you are missing out on some good shit right here. Check out Caminantes Si Hay Caminos very soon! AHH!!! 7/10.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

15 Mexi-Trash Trailers to watch over & over & over & over & over!!!!!!!!!!!

It was 26 last time, now it's 15! WOWZA! There was originally gonna be more than 15 but I wasn't able to get the other trailers since I can't remember which tapes had certain trailers (oh no!). Whenever I do find these trailers, I will surely upload them. Okay? Anywho, enjoy these! These are nasty, funny, cheesy, sleazy, angry, and just plain badass! ENJOY!

La Vengadora Implacable (1990)
A very dark looking rape/revenge flick starring the gorgeous Gabriela Goldsmith. I need this one!

Buscando Al Asesino (1990)
Here's Princesa Lea in a sleazy little thriller. Have you seen this movie? No? Then why the fuck do you call yourself a Princesa Lea fan? Just cause you seen Intrepidos Punks a million times don't make you no hardcore Princesa Lea fan! [ugly snobbish look on my face while shaking my head] [sarcasm]

El Olor De La Sangre  (1992)
I think my kindergarten teacher stars in this cheap little action flick.

Cadenas De Violencia (1992)
Miguel Marte, you once again impress me with this trailer. You made such awesome movies back in the day. Please Mr. Marte, get in touch with me sometime. I really wish to speak to you! You are awesome, dammit!

Mafia En Jalisco (1991)
I reviewed this movie. It's great and Ernesto Gomez Cruz is so cool! AH!

Panama II: El Retorno
Apparently there's a sequel to Panama: La Caida De Noriega. I can't seem to find anything on it though other than this trailer. However, this trailer shows no actual clips of the sequel, just clips of the 1st movie. I guess the sequel was actually never made.

Camino Al Infierno (1987)
A revenge flick I been needing to see for a while. It's supposed to be really good and epic.

Asesinos (1991)
Jorge Reynoso searches for his kidnapped son. Jorge's son gets kidnapped by organ traffickers! What was it with Mexico and organ trafficking back in the 80's & 90's? This was always the subject in a lot of movies and tv shows.

El Profugo (1992)
I saw this one on tv last spring. It's okay.

Lencha La Justiciera (1990)
Such a cheap trailer for such a cheap movie. However, I like this movie since I totally think Lencha is funny. Lencha is basically the 'modern' India Maria only she's more ghetto and underground.

Zapatero A Tus Zapatos (1990)
Looks awful but it does have some attractive chicks.

Siete Millones (1999)
Got this movie on VHS at a swap meet last year. I watched it and didn't like it. I watched last Sunday and still didn't like it. Jorge Reynoso is pretty badass in it though, there is no denying that!

Una Luz En La Calle (2002)
Such a sleazy looking movie. There's pedophiles feeding hungry children from the streets and other sleazy shit going on. Eesh.

El Angel De Mi Guardia (2001)
so & so looking narco movie. The song is quite catchy and very uplifting.

La Ley Del Cholo II (2000)
Nasty Mexican cholos doing nasty stuff in nasty looking places. OOOooooOOoooOO!

Thursday, November 22, 2012

That Old Man Was A Fucking Asshole.

In Era Cabron El Viejo (aka "That Old Man Was An Asshole"), Viejo Paulino (old man Paulino) is sought after by his compadre (godfather) who is his rival in the drug trafficking business. The compadre has sent out a bunch of assassins to kill Paulino but they've all failed since Paulino and his sidekick always shoot the fuckers down with their AK-47's (ay guey!). Paulino has had enough with the rivalry with his compadre, so he decides to kill him along with his cousin, a snitch, and some cops that work for the compadre. He also kidnaps his compadre's young niece whom later ends up falling in love with him. Viejo Paulino is a fucking asshole, huh?

Era Cabron El Viejo starts off really good. Asshole Viejo Paulino guns down a car which then explodes (best opening credits ever), a drunk Fernando Almada acts grouchy, then there's some random shooting between Paulino and other old assholes (of course), then the movie takes a turn for the lamest with pointless comedic scenes, Paulino being nice to a little sick girl and being a romantic with his compadre's niece. What the fuck? I thought this was Era Cabron El Viejo, not Era Nice & Romantico El Viejo!!

Era Cabron El Viejo could of been so much better if Viejo Paulino was an asshole through out the whole movie, not half asshole/romantic/father figure.

Meh, Era Cabron El Viejo is whatever. Curious? Check it out I guess. Not curious? Then walk away and watch something else. 2/10.

                                                   Luis y Julian "Era Cabron El Viejo" music video (censored unfortunately):