Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Alfonso Zayas' Chico Pistolon.

An attempt to cash-in on Alfonso Zayas' success in the sex comedy scene, legendary Miguel Marte made Chico Pistolon (roughly translated as "Little Big Gun").  Chico Pistolon is pretty much like any other Miguel Marte movie; there is action & some melodrama going on, but there is a splash of 'comedy' thrown in and a little drop of 'sex' in it.

Action + Melodrama = Good.

Action + Melodrama + (sex) Comedy = Bad. Very Bad.

Miguel Marte, why did you have to make this movie for?!?!?!?!

In Chico Pistolon, Alfonso Zayas plays a stupid guy named Antonio who is a thief that has to holds unto his pants because he doesn't have a belt (seriously). When he's arrested with his pants down (again, due to lacking a belt),  he is then taken to custody but somehow he ends up getting mistaken for being the new cop in town. Antonio (now pretending to be the new cop in town) is partnered up with Ramon (Mario Almada); who is an old cop that recently lost his follower in a shootout. So anyway, Ramon hands Antonio a "chico pistolon", Antonio drives around awkwardly in Ramon's truck, they then they gun battle with drug dealers, and uuhh, well... It just gets more awful from there since the movie terribly tries to be funny and serious at the same time. Ugh.

What an epic failure Chico Pistolon is. It is so boring and very painful to watch since the movie tries to be funny so badly. Ah hell, Miguel Marte should of just forgot abut making a comedy movie and instead invest in another great action movie.

Avoid Chico Pistolon at all costs. It sucks so badly! 1/10.


Friday, January 18, 2013

Coming of Age and Firearms.

Armas De Fuego (aka "Firearms") tells the story of 3 kids named Gilberto (Michael Marte), Narcizo (Guillermo Ivan), and Nora (Angie Marte). The 3 kids come from different backgrounds; Gilberto is the son of a sheriff, Nora is the daughter of a wealthy ranch couple, and Narcizo is unfortunately the son of the town drunk, he also no longer has a mother due to her abandoning him & his father. So anyway, the 3 kids come together at the beach, eat sweets together, and play all day til it gets dark. When Narcizo's father gets into a fight with Nora's father, Narcizo is sent to jail for the night and when he is released the following day, he devices a plan with a couple of his drinking buddies to kidnap little Nora so they can get a big ol' ransom in exchange for her 'safe' return. Narcizo's father & buddies then kidnap Nora, demand money, but instead of getting money, Gilberto's father comes to the rescue and guns down Narcizo's father & his drinking buddies. Little Narcizo is now alone and then runs away from town.

10 years later, Gilberto (now played by Angel Sancho) returns home from Mexico City. He is now the town's sheriff (just like his father was back in the day). Nora (now played by Nora Torres) is a beautiful wealthy woman who is engaged to be married to none other than Narcizo aka El Mulato (Jose Luis Chavez); a sought after drug trafficker with lots of power & money. Nora tells Narcizo he should get out of the drug business, but he refuses to do so since he loves the money and power he has gotten from it. 10 years ago, Gilberto, Nora, and Narcizo made a promise to each other that if they ever part, they will find a way to reunite with each other at the beach when they are older. Keeping that promise & all, the 3 reunite (more like Gilberto and Narcizo reunite) and that is when things gets complicated when Narcizo admits to Gilberto that he is El Mulato and that they are now enemies instead of friends. From there, guns are firing, bombs exploding, and relationships tear apart.

Yep, Armas De Fuego is quite the movie. Interesting plot, decent acting, and great fucking action! However, the movie felt rushed. One minute Gilberto is all happy because he's with his friends, then out of nowhere he admits that he will be leaving to Mexico City very soon and then they all start crying. Kinda silly, huh? The reunion scene also felt rushed since Narcizo pops out all awkwardly (very, very awkwardly!) to surprise Gilberto. Despite the rush scenes, I still really enjoyed the movie. I'm a sucker for Coming of Age movies, especially ones involving a group of children. This being a Miguel Marte movie and all (where are you Miguel Marte?!?!?!), there's plenty of guns firing through out the movie and random explosions. Beautiful.

Miguel Marte action + Coming of Age = A Happy Me.

Armas De Fuego is a swell movie that is worth looking into. Its on DVD I hear, so look for it somewhere. 5/10.