Monday, October 29, 2018

Alfonso Zayas, Cesar Bono & Lina Santos Vs. Vladimir The Vampire.

A vampire is on the loose in Mexico City. Is it El Vampiro Teporocho? Not this time around. This vampire is called Vladimir (Roberto Flaco Guzman) and he has awaken from his tomb by an attractive archeologist named Magdalena (Lina Santos). After being free’d, Vladimir roams around the city hunting women for blood and to be his slaves. Magdalena wants to stop Vladimir’s bloody reign of terror, so she finds a couple of witch doctors from a small town named Hipocrates (Alfonso Zayas) and Jacinto (Cesar Bono). Hipocrates & Jacinto being weird and perverted, lust after Magdalena since she’s incredibly attractive, but Vladimir wants her as well!


Curados De Espantos (aka "Healers of Fright") is a pretty darn good horror comedy. The scenes with Vladimir played by the Roberto Flaco Guzman are so great considering he’s actually being a vampire by preying on women, murdering and drinking their blood. That kind of stuff, ya know? Apparently though Vladimir is a Jewish vampire. It seems a wooden cross doesn’t affect him in any way, but when Jacinto pulls out a nazi swastika, Vladimir is affected by it. As unusual and even offensive as it is, you can’t help but give a cheap chuckle at that.

The wonderful Alfonso Zayas & Cesar Bono playing witch doctors, perform various of things for people in their town such as healing of illness’, erectile dysfunctions and spiritual cleansings. They do however use some questionable ingredients such as horse cum and parrot saliva. Strange, but I guess they do work! They also perform exorcisms and that’s one of my favorite scenes of the movie. A young boy wearing an Ozzy Osbourne t-shirt gets possessed by a demon and the 2 goofs try to release the demon with a various of things and turns out all it took was a punch to the face. Amazing, right?

Lina Santos is of course so freaking beautiful in this movie. While she doesn’t get nude (sorry guys), she does have a nice scene in a bathtub and naturally Alfonso Zayas spies on her. Truly relatable. Well not really, but you know what I mean. I also cannot forget to mention that the greatest little Mexican actor ever Tun Tun plays a wonderful Igor! Dwight Frye who? Our little Tun Tun definitely played the best vampire slave.


If you liked El Vampiro Teporocho, then you really must watch Curados De Espantos. It’s just as fun and you will totally like it just as much. Definitely pair these 2 up for a double feature of weird Mexican vampires. 8/10.


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