Sunday, July 7, 2013

Drug Traffickers of Michoacan.

I had this amazing picture in my head of how Traficantes De Michoacan would be. As I held the VHS copy in my hands when I first got it, I pictured it being something pretty cool and badass. I pictured guns firing here & there, some machismo corridos playing here & there, and other goodies that action/crime flicks can bring. Oh boy, was I excited for this one!

Naturally, my picture of this movie turned out to be a bust since the movie was definitely not how I pictured it. Good gosh, was I wrong about this movie. Gosh.

Directed by Agustin Bernal; Traficantes De Michoacan (aka "Drug Traffickers of Michoacan") tells a story of the 3 Arteaga brothers who are from a small town in Michoacan, Mexico. We got the eldest Arteaga brother "Ruben" (Mario Almada) who dresses up a priest because his mother really wanted him to be one. Of course though, he's not really a priest since he's actually a drug trafficker. He just dresses up as a priest as a sort of tribute to his late mother (yes, weird I know). 2nd eldest Atreaga is "Jose" (Fernando Almada) who is a police chief fighting against drug traffickers in the surrounding areas of his hometown. Youngest Arteaga brother is "Saul" (Agustin Bernal) who is also a drug trafficker, but on a different turf from Ruben's.

So anyway, the movie sets around these 3 brothers who are obviously different from each other, but they get along fine when they reunite for parties. Jose (the cop) has no idea that his 2 brothers are involved in drug trafficking. He assumes they do legitimate work. But then when Maria (their young sister) gets kidnapped by a local crime boss; Jose finds out his brothers are indeed drug traffickers. It's disappointing to know this, but it doesn't matter for the time being since Jose teams up with drug-trafficking brothers to rescue their innocent little sister.

It honestly took me a while to get around to watching Traficantes De Michoacan. I actually fell asleep in the middle of it when I 1st popped in the tape unto the VCR. 2nd attempt at viewing, I fell asleep in the middle of it again. 3rd attempt at viewing, I managed to stay up and actually got to finish watching it. And let me tell ya, that was one dull ass movie!

Traficantes De Micoahocan starts off pretty promising with Agustin Bernal shooting down some hitmen and then watching Mario Almada (dressed as a priest) shooting a rival of his down. He even attempts at praying for the dead rival, but decides not to after all because "eh, he's not going to Heaven anyway. Let's just go". Amazing dialogue, right? After that, we see Fernando Almada's character gunning down a bunch of pot-bellied drug traffickers inside a wooden shack. Amazing, right? That's pretty much it from there! After that amazing 10 minutes of action-packed crap, the movie gets extremely slow and boring. Surprisingly though, the movie does get a tad good again once the 3 Arteaga brothers are up against their sister's captor. The ending however is so stupid and doesn't make any sense. Fuck.

Remember when I said I pictured some machismo corridos playing here & there? Well, that does happen once, but the corrido playing sucked so badly. Instead of using accordions, this group uses a harp. What the fuck kind of shit is that? What's even worse about this, is that Mario Almada, his brother, and Agustin Bernal literally keep on saying how good the musical group is. They are such fuckin' liars I swear because that group sucked badly. Why even lie like that for! Fuck.

As you can tell, Traficantes De Michoacan is one of helluva movie that seemed promising, but actually delivered very little and was such a bore. Booo. 3/10.


Corrido performed in the movie: